A few months ago, Crystal announced she was pregnant with her second little bundle of joy. Fast forward to now and I am anxiously awaiting the call that baby boy is here. Like most friends or pregnant women, I can’t wait to snuggle the little bundle of joy and want to meet him basically as soon as he enters the world. BUT….since having a kid of my own, I’ve learned a thing or two about visiting new babies.
Don’t worry, I’m not saying don’t visit a new baby, I am just sharing some suggestions for how to make the visit really awesome for everyone involved! Check out these tips then, if you have some of your own, share them with us.
- Listen to what isn’t said as much as you listen to what is said. Recently, another friend of ours had a baby. I couldn’t wait to get to him, and had plans to head over there one Saturday afternoon. When the girl I was going to go with called the new momma she mentioned how tired she was and how the baby hadn’t slept well the night before. She would never have told us not to come, but let’s face it, she needed rest and calm. Visitors were not the best idea for that day so we rescheduled.
- The way to people’s hearts is through their stomachs. Offering to bring a meal, a dessert or even just a coffee with you when you come can mean the world to new parents who are sleep deprived and don’t want to venture out of their house with a newborn to get those things themselves. It doesn’t have to be fancy. When L was born, a friend brought us Panera and I am still grateful for it! I mean let me be real for a minute, after pushing out a 9 lb. 6 oz. pumpkin, meal planning and prep were far from the top of my list of priorities! Be sure to check in about food allergies and dietary restrictions. **Fun side note, Crystal has already requested ice cream, so ice cream she shall have! Don’t worry girl, I got ya!
- Older siblings are just as important as the new baby. Sometimes, it’s hard for big bro or big sis to wrap their heads around attention being split between the new baby and themselves. Especially if they were an only child and this is their first sibling. Be sure to make over them too, and how special they are now that they get to be a big brother or big sister. You may even want to offer to play a special game with them or ask them to be the “tour guide” and show off the baby’s new room to you anything to make them feel special and important.
- Germs are no one’s friend. This one goes without saying, but if you or anyone around you is showing signs of even a sniffle, hold off on your visit. New babies have little to no immunity and as a new parent I was always worried about L getting something from someone. When one of our other best friends had her baby this summer, I wanted to go so bad, but Hand, Foot and Mouth had hit our family (the worst) so I had to wait a whole week and a half to visit him. It killed me, but it was best for him! Yes, we all get our first bug at some point, but do you really want to be the one to give it to the new baby?
- Keep the visit sweet, but short. New babies need a lot of sleep, and so do their parents. Make sure you look for clues that the family needs a rest. They have likely had a bunch of people in and out, and they want nothing less than, but they also need a bit of rest.
- Be a sounding board. Being a new mom or dad ain’t easy! Yes, it is amazing, but sometimes there are moments of doubt and down right frustration. Listen without judgement, listen and let them know it is okay to be freaked out. Listen and assure them that it is okay to ask for help. For some reason it tends to be taboo to discuss this part of parenthood, but that’s not fair because really the struggle is real. Also, if you feel your friend needs more than you as a sounding board, be an advocate for them to get the help they need.
- Soak it all up and enjoy the moment. I’m not just talking about the baby snuggles either. Enjoy the new parents too! There is nothing quite like the glow of love you can see when parents look at their babies. New parents are a special breed. They run on little to no sleep while trying to navigate life with this tiny miracle that comes with no instructions and challenges them at every turn, yet they do what needs to be done because, they need to! That’s being a parent and that’s an amazing feat!
So there you have it, a few tips from a one time momma. I know most of them are common knowledge but sometimes, we get so wrapped up in the excitement we forget them. On that note, I’m headed back to check my phone to see if baby S2 is here yet!!
**Just for good measure, this is the photo of the first time I got to meet Crystal’s first baby, 11 days after my own baby (pictured above) was born!