Lindsey, Motherhood, opinion

So What About Me?

Well by now, you have probably heard that my awesome bestie is preggo with a sweet little nugget, in fact several of them are and I could not be more thrilled!  (If you missed it, check out this sweet post, but get your tissues ready) Usually, when we are together, someone hears this and turns to me to ask, “how about you?”

So I will go ahead and set the record straight, nope!

I get it, we had our first babies 11 days apart, those kids are now 2 and a half and let’s be real, I am not getting any younger!  It makes sense people would question if I too am ready to welcome baby number 2.  The truth is, I am kind of like Crystal, when people ask if we are “trying” I get all awkward, foot in my mouth, change the subject before they misconstrue something I say into something I didn’t mean.  Plus, umm I mean, well, not to be rude (because you know I like you and all) but, it’s really a topic that I don’t feel the need to discuss with anyone other than my hubby.

In fact, I would like to give my point of view.  Please know it is my point of view and it in no way represents the views of all women or a single other woman for that matter.  Also, full disclaimer, I know 99% of people that ask are just trying to be kind and seem interested.  With that being said my point of view is this:

DO NOT ASK A WOMAN IF SHE IS PREGNANT OR TRYING TO BECOME PREGNANT.

Unless you are her partner or her doctor who needs this for a medical reason, you don’t need to know the answer to this question!  First of all, if they are not, and you ask if they are or worse, ask when they are due, it makes for a VERY uncomfortable moment!

Second, not everyone wants to have a child.  This does not mean they do not like children, it means they do not see it as their path in life to have one of their own.  I know many wonderful women who do not have nor want children.  They are fantastic and successful, they make wonderful aunties and sometimes even offer to babysit for you because they can get a snuggle/fun fest in then hand the child over after a few hours or so! In addition, they are often down for a last minute girls night which can really be needed sometimes! Not gonna lie, I love my non-mom friends.  Shout out to my ladies with no babies!

Finally, the most important reason not to ask this question.  Sometimes, the struggle is real. And not in a funny haha way but in a heart wrenching way.  The truth is, you never know what people are going through.  The person you ask may be in the middle of a struggle and have been struggling for months or years and paid thousands of dollars. They may want so badly to say yes to this question!  They may be a woman that thinks maybe she is, but she is waiting a few more days to take that test because she doesn’t want to get her hopes up.  She may be a woman that is, but she feels it’s too early to say anything so she is biting her tongue and ordering a drink when she goes out to eat that she will never taste just so no one asks her.  Or she may be a woman that has suffered the unimaginable but very common pain of losing a pregnancy.  The truth is you just never know!

So, in my opinion, it is best to just not ask.  Although, maybe I am the minority with this topic.  What do you think, are you someone that likes to be asked or would you also prefer to just leave it to a need to know basis?

 

xoxo,

Lindsey

 

PS. I promise to tell you when I am!

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